Dealing With People

“Bismillah (In the name of God)”

I have had many supervisors in my professional life. Among them, there’s one who remains unforgettable in my mind.  She was a lady in her early 60’s.

She once called me in her office for a meeting. During the discussion, she said something that made me ask her for clarification. “You annoyed me,” was her answer.  As she was making that statement, she was looking up as if someone else was listening to the conversation. Although, I am not completely certain about it since I was facing her and I didn’t turn to check on my suspicion.

I felt so mad after the meeting that I went straight to a co-worker and explained what just happened. She replied, “that’s how she is, NASTY.”

This is what Allah (God) said to Prophet Mohammad (Peace Upon Him) about dealing with people:

“So, by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from you.” (3:159)

Why should you be respectful when dealing with people?

Come December, she bought gifts for a lot of people in the office. However, half of the people that she supervised either returned the gift to her or did not accept it.  I asked one of my friends, “Why did you return the gift?”

“She has been mean, rude and nasty all year. I don’t want anything from her.” She replied

“You are right,” I said, “But I am not going to return the gift to her so she can give it to someone else. Even if I don’t use it, I am going to keep it because I deserve it for putting up with her bad behavior and attitude.”

What is the cost of rudeness towards people?

The truth is, I don’t know how she felt when the gifts were not accepted or returned to her. However, due to her behavior a lot of people didn’t care about her feelings.  Allah (God) did not extend His mercy only towards Prophet Muhammad (Peace Upon Him) in dealing with others. He gave it to us as well by revealing it in the Quran.  The same warning that Allah (God) gave the Prophet (PBUH) goes for us too. Being rude and harsh when dealing with people will make them not want to deal with you or stay around you. That includes your family members also.  

How you deal or treat people is also part of Allah’s plan and guidance for your life. Treating people with respect, fairness and dignity is expected of us regardless of who we think we are.  Reliance on Allah (God) does not mean inaction. It means taking the right steps, dealing wisely, forgiving, and then leaving the outcome to Allah.

Ramadan is the perfect opportunity to humble yourself, surrender your heart and allow this advice to enter it.

Ask yourself

1. Whom have I been rude or harsh with?
2. How can I incorporate gentleness in my character?
3. What can I do when I am rude or harsh with someone?

Prayer

O Allah, help me trust Your words, rely on You, and act with wisdom. Ameen